A Jewish Father’s Important Catchphrase on Father’s Day

My father isn’t particularly religiously observant. But this Father’s Day I am thinking about something he said over and over to my siblings and me during our childhood that has profoundly affected how I practice Judaism and live my life.

If my father saw one of his three children misbehaving, struggling with an ethical dilemma, lazily avoiding the correct path, or simply acting in a manner that was beneath us, he would oftentimes look that child in the eye and say, “Be a mensch!”

What is a “mensch”?

“‘Mensch’ is a Yiddish word meaning ‘a person of integrity and honor. ‘

“A Mensch is many things and one simple thing.  A mensch does what is right because it is right towards family,  towards strangers, at home and in public.  When people behave with honesty, integrity, consideration and respect, they themselves prosper, as does society at large. By spreading mensch-like behavior we can make our society happier, healthier and more successful,” according to the “Be a Mensch” website.

Unfortunately, I would not yet describe myself as a mensch, but I can say that many times when I am considering taking an ethical shortcut or feeling too lazy to do a good deed, I hear my father’s call: be a mensch!

I know the coworker who lives in my city and doesn’t have a car really benefits when I give him a ride to work, but he is sometimes annoying and makes long personal calls when I want to listen to a podcast – be a mensch!

I know it’s important to be patient and loving with my children, but it’s so hard after a long, hard day of work when I am hungry and tired – be a mensch!

It’s great to send your children to Jewish day schools, etc., but ethical practices are often created in the home. Parents would be wise to make sure they are both modeling mensch-like behavior and frequently reminding their children to act like a mensch.

Acting in this way makes a person happier.

Hedonistic man (an oxymoron) cannot be happy except on an animal level. The happiness of man can only be achieved when he rises above his innate desires and strives for a goal beyond that of self-gratification. It is only then that he is a mensch. Failure to do so results in frustration, from which he seeks to escape by indulgence (the hedonistic treadmill)…Ironically, the true happiness of man is when he seeks the perfection of being a mensch by denial of many of his physical urges rather than by their gratification. Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, MD, writing in the book “Be a Mensch” (page 2).

Happy Father’s Day to everyone who is celebrating! May all of us, parents and children alike, heed my wise father’s advice.

A helpful resource: Seven Steps to “Mentschhood”: How to Help Your Child Become a Mentsch.

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