Sorry I haven’t posted to Seeking Simcha in a few months…I fell.
But then I started getting stressed and very busy at my high-tech job, triggering a pattern of dysfunctional eating (something I have struggled with in the past). I began binging at restaurants and eating until I literally felt sick.
I think I was hoping the physical pain and discomfort would distract me from some of the harder issues that I don’t want to think about/deal with. And the shame and self-loathing that I felt after a binge touched on some of my self-esteem issues and felt like something I deserved as punishment.
Thankfully, with the help of G-d, I am once again working towards simcha. I remind myself that:
A righteous man falls down seven times and gets up. King Solomon, Proverbs, 24:16.
I am unfortunately not yet a righteous man, but I have gotten up. I am back on the path towards simcha and I hope you will join me for the journey!