Blessings in the Bathroom

My ten-day hospital stay approximately two years ago was a good spiritual refresher course. Perhaps surprisingly, many of my best lessons occurred in my hospital room’s bathroom.

I was hospitalized in Israel’s excellent Tel HaShomer hospital after suffering a painful urinary blockage that caused my lower pelvis to swell. In the preceding days I went to the restroom much more often than usual, but I simply could not empty my bladder. If you’ve never had that experience, it is frustrating, uncomfortable and worrisome.

My frustration reminded me that I should have been much more grateful for all of the times that I successfully used the bathroom. Judaism is a religion that stresses gratitude as a way to connect with our Creator and to increase our happiness. In fact, religiously observant Jews say a prayer called “Asher Yatzar” after using the bathroom. It reminds us that “if even one of (our orifices) ruptures, or if even one of them becomes blocked, it would be impossible to survive and to stand before You.”

Gratitude for the little things, even seemingly non-holy matters such as using the toilet, reminds us that everything is a gift from G-d and that every breath is a blessing.

My hospital stint also helped me be a little more humble. For most of my stay, I was hooked up to a catheter. At first I felt a little embarrassed when visitors would come and see me, a generally healthy 36-year-old (at the time), with my catheter bag. Eventually I relaxed and realized my image was not a real concern – my sole focus needed to be on getting better.

One effective method for achieving the proper focus was to remember that Rabbi Noah Weinberg, may the memory of the righteous be for a blessing, taught the importance of maintaining a positive attitude to overcome frustrating challenges. “In truth, the greater the challenge, the taller we can rise to meet it. Consider a very sick person whose suffering is unbearable. He can decide not to let the suffering rob him of any more quality of life than it must,” wrote Rabbi Weinberg.

I didn’t always rise to this level, unfortunately, but I can report that I noticed significant differences in my physical and mental health, not to mention my interactions with doctors and other patients, when I viewed frustration as a challenge to overcome.

But perhaps sometimes I judge myself too harshly. Judaism advises us to judge people, and especially ourselves, with a “good eye” (by looking for positives, instead of seeking out faults to criticize). One day when I was down on myself for succumbing to frustration and not acting cheerfully, my wife began speaking with a young patient who was in the bed next to mine. I overheard him tell her, “It’s a pleasure sharing a room with your husband, he’s always smiling and laughing.”

It’s amazing how sometimes others see our positive qualities so much better than we do, and how much kind words can mean to a person in distress.

Judaism certainly has its ethereal elements, but it is also a religion that is concerned with the seemingly mundane details of human life, including using the bathroom. I learned quite a few spiritual lessons in my hospital bathroom, but the challenge has been to maintain and expand upon these spiritual principles as the event gets further in my rearview mirror…

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